Funny Fridays

The following is an excerpt from a patient’s self-completed medical history questionnaire:

Question: Have you ever been diagnosed with a medical condition or experienced any symptoms not listed on this form?

Patient’s response: “seizures when I was a little kid, but not grandmaw [sic] seizures”

But, what about grandpa seizures? Those are the worst! For the record, it’s grand mal seizures.


An overheard telephone conversation with a patient:

Patient: “I had my tubicle ten years ago, and I need to get it fixed.”

Co-worker: “I’m sorry. Did you say tubicle? What exactly did you have done?”

Patient: “You know, a tubicle, so I can’t have no more kids.”

Co-worker: “Oh, you mean a tubal ligation. Well, the first thing you need to do is have your operative report faxed to our office, so that the doctor can review it and determine if you’re a suitable candidate for the reversal procedure. Then, we can schedule a consultation.”

Patient: “Why do I have to do that? I had a tubicle.”

Renegade RN: “No one doubts that you did, ma’am, but the doctor needs to review your operative report to see how your tubal ligation was done and if he can, in fact, reconstruct your tubes. Have you had any other surgeries on your female organs?”

Patient: “No, just my tubicle.”

Score—Patient: 1, Nurse: 0. Some people you just can’t reach.