We Appreciate Your Call! For Call-In Concerns, Make Nice with the Nurse.

If you are an established and generally compliant (clinically and financially) patient, your physician’s office will often be willing to handle minor concerns over the phone by issuing medical device, calling in prescriptions, and making referrals to other providers. You will usually speak with an office nurse or other designated personnel who follow protocols approved by your provider. As someone who’s been on the receiving end of countless call-in requests, I give the following nuggets of wisdom that will greatly enhance your chances of a successful outcome (i.e., no in-person visit and no co-pay required).

The nurse is not your BFF, your confidante, or your personal concierge. Nurse Ratched acolytes aside, most of us are professionals who endeavor to alleviate your concerns in as timely and compassionate a manner as possible. Your story is important, but we need only the high points. Be prepared to give a concise account of a specific problem. A litany of complaints always requires face time with a practitioner, and you will need to make an appointment no matter how vehemently you protest. Likewise, a problem that’s been going on for months means you must be seen. Do NOT call the office for information that can easily be found elsewhere (i.e., phone numbers to local hospitals, other health care providers, pharmacies, or insurance companies). We are not 411.

The nurse is not a repository for your ever-changing demographic information. In large practices particularly, or if you have failed to make regular appearances at the office, she will likely not recognize you by any of your first and/or last name combinations, much less your nick- or preferred name. Choose a name and stick with it. As much as it may pain you, use the name on your insurance card. This makes finding your chart easier and lessens the likelihood that your records will be misfiled and that your insurance claim will be rejected. Always use the same name when you call in and provide other demographic information, such as your date of birth or social security number, to help with identification.

If you call for a prescription refill or believe your condition may warrant a prescription, be prepared to provide a pharmacy number. Likewise, if you want an order faxed for outpatient testing, provide the fax number. I cannot emphasize enough how much more quickly your concern will be handled, if you follow this step. Leaving me a message indicating that you want a prescription called in to the pharmacy “on the corner of such and such” means that your concern goes to the bottom of the 20-deep message pile where I will research it at my leisure.

Do your own bureaucratic homework and know your insurance coverage. The nurse cannot be expected to know offhand what services your policy covers or which pharmacies and providers are in-network. This is your responsibility.

Answer the phone when the nurse returns your call. If you cannot take the call, listen to your message before calling the office again as it may address your concern in full. Resist the temptation to express indignation that the nurse is not available to talk with you when she “just called.” I assure you she’s already on the phone with someone else in the 20-deep message pile.

Be courteous to the receptionist and all other administrative staff. Trust me, when your concern falls into the gray area between handling over the phone versus needing an in-person evaluation, we’re all more likely to bend over backward to help you if you’re nice to everyone. Acting like a petulant child or pulling a Medusa-on-Crack routine will get you noticed, but not in a good way. Most likely, you’ll get an invitation to perform your routine in the office as we won’t be doing you any phone favors.

Be mindful of the timing of your call. Calling at 3:30 p.m. on a Friday afternoon probably means you won’t be called back until after the weekend. Call the office when it first opens for the best chance of having your call returned promptly. Be aware that some offices have designated call-back times or triage schedules, meaning that some callbacks may not occur for 24-48 hours.

Call for yourself, not your friends. The nurse cannot comment on your friend’s condition because s/he is not our patient, nor would we discuss it with you anyway. Besides, the nurse knows it’s really “you” you’re calling about. And, for the record, a thorough nurse will make a notation in your chart about your “friend’s” problem, so that we can compare it to your strangely similar complaint in the future.

Show up for your regular appointments. Don’t even think of calling in a request or concern when you’ve “no-showed” for your last three scheduled appointments. Moreover, don’t give me the “I’ve-been-his/her-patient-for-ten-years line,” especially if you haven’t been seen in the last twelve months. This leads me to believe you’re probably going to ask for something unreasonable, and you are.

Last but not least, keep up with your stuff, namely the prescriptions given to you at your last visit. There’s a reason we ask you to submit them to the pharmacy right away. You lose them like errant children who can never find their homework! We then have to call them in to your pharmacy. You have created double work for us in this situation. We realize mistakes happen, and a gracious request certainly works in your favor, but a haughty, adolescent attitude, not so much.

If you keep it short, real, and together, you'll more than likely get what you want and need without the face-time hassle.